idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
