he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
