Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
