i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
