Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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