He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
