I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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