dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
