Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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