no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
