i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize