My liver just broke up with me...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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