you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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