Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
