I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
