so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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