He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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