dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
