Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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