Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My dick has a subreddit
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize