you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
