im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize