She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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