i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
