Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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