I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
