FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
