would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
