At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
