I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
