I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
