The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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