Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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