Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize