its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
