Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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