Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize