he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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