Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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