He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
