I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Ketchup is God's man juice
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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