I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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