The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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