that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
