Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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