My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
