oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
