Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
