I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I wish there were birth control emojis
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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