I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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