The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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