Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
