my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
