I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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