Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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