I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
