Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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