I hate your face
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
