My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
