If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize