Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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