im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
