Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
