You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
worst night to have a conscience
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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