am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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